In West Philadelphia, Born and Raised

The people at this airport don't know the difference between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. We are going to the city of brotherly love, people! Quit trying to board that other plane!

Maybe it's because they both start with P. Like how I can't tell the difference between Mendota, Modesto, and Madera.

The East Cost Girls Are Hip

So I'm at SFO waiting to go to the East Coast for a week, and finally I have internet access. I've been without it for about three days, except for the pirated wireless I occasionally get from my neighbors, and I have an hour until boarding, so now's as good a time as any to write about the move!

I'm moved. Completely. The kittens and the last of the furniture went over yesterday. And, it might be too early and naive of me to say this, but...it might actually work! Turns out I happen to have a very conscientious roommate! Whoda thought it? He cleans, organizes, loves the kittens, and pays rent! I can't really ask for anything else, and I feel kind of bad for being so pessimistic about it before. The only downside is that people at the zoo are talking. But people at the zoo talk when one of your shoelaces is untied, so there's not much I can do about that. A few days ago, I was upset about the trapped-in-a-year-lease situation, but I'm prone to freaking out lately, so I'm going to ignore that little spaz out as an anomaly and live in rommated bliss from now on.

In other news, I'm going "home" for a week! It couldn't've come at a better time. My adopted town is surrounded by massive forest fires, and it's already terrible air quality has really gone to hell as a result--you can SEE the brown in the air. It's surreal. Also it's hotter than hell, roommate will unpack and rearrange furniture while I'm gone, and I can do with less zoo work at the moment. Clearly the East Coast is my best option! East Side!

Now let's board this mofo already!

I made a huge mistake : (

On a happier note: Mazel Tov Rachel and Phil!!!!!

Boxing Day

Moving Day
Is a Holiday!
'Cause on Moving Day
We realize exactly how much crap we have and how hard it is to move it even a few miles down the road!

I used to looooove move-in day in college! That's kind of what this feels like, except my roommate situation is going to be a little odd this semester.

I forgot to mention that when I hiked half dome, I forgot my hiking boots. The ONE thing you really need to hike, and I forgot it! I ended up borrowing Kelsey's friends sneakers.

Ok, time to get this show on the road!

Here a Lee, There a Lee, Everywhere a Lee a Lee

Omigosh omigosh omigosh!!!

Tomorrow is moving day! TOMORROW! He hasn't backed out of it yet! Or gotten fired! What if this really happens????

Upset

I'm inexplicably depressed today.

I hope tomorrow's better.

Bring on the WHOLE Dome!

I did it!

Kelsey and I spent a grueling, fantastic weekend hiking 16.2 miles up Half Dome! See that pointy part? I saw a marmot there. See the rounded part on the other side? I ate a turkey sandwich there. It was a HARD hike! I'm so tired!

Half-baked Plans

I'm going to hike half dome on Wednesday! It's supposed to be a really tough hike. One of my friends from Hawaii and I are going to try it and then try camping in Yosemite without really having much of a plan. I'll let you know what happens! I'm super excited. I keep reading all these things that are like "this is a really hard hike! Be prepared!" and I'm like, "Tcha. Hard for OTHER people maybe." I hope I have some good hiking karma stored up!

New TV Love: Dexter

Happy Flag Day! (belated)

Talk Talk Talk Talk Happy Talk

Today was a good day! I love my coworkers. Most of the time. Today started out with a chocolate donut and a mint chocolate frappachino. How can any day be bad after that kind of start?

I really want to go swimming.

12

Twelve is my lucky number. Today is the 12th.

Ummm....that's about it for today. Not every day is monumental.

Is It Gonna Be a Daisy or a Rose?

Oh my Gosh! Last night we went out dancing and closed down my town's only dance club and towards the end of the night in between all the raunchy dancey music and hip hop songs they played Mmm Bop!! I swear! So what else can you do when you're all skanked out for dancing at what is basically a hillbilly bar? That's right: you dance dirty to Hanson. And the most awesome part of all! In the middle of the song, this guy with longish blond hair comes boppin' over to my circle of pals and someone screams "Oh my God! It's Hanson!!" And we all dance together! The DJ was watching us droppin' it like it was hot to such lyrics as "In an Mmm Bop you're gone/in an mmm bop you're not there..." and cracking up! Highlight of the night. No doubt about it. Fun times.

Work this morning was OK too. I got coffee, so I could appear normal and cheerful despite my hour and a half of sleep. During this afternoon's recovery nap, my old boss' boss from HI called to chide me for not responding to his email (he NEVER responds to mine and never fails to make me feel inferior), totally ruining my repose. F you, old boss' boss. That's what I say. I have no regrets about my recent decision to stay where I am for the time being. I just feel like it's what I need to do.

Now I'm out to see about this townhouse deal. I have no idea what L's feeling about this whole situation. I get vague feelings like I did before he dumped me, but since I haven't talked to him in two or three days, I have no idea whether they're justified. I do know his nice boss is giving us a couch! We'll see!

Well That's Alright if You're a Kind of Crustacean

Happy!

I slept like 20 hours yesterday and woke up this morning feeling fantastic. L came to work and so is apparently not fired, so bonus.

Tonight I'm going dancing! Tomorrow I'm working half a day, so I get overtime! The next day I'm probably going back to the lake! So far in my California adventures, it seems like yesterday has no effect on today. One day is depressing and horrible, the next is wild and carefree, the next is confusing...seriously, I feel like anything can happen! I like the unpredictability.

We think all we want is a lifetime of leisure, each perfect day the same. Endless vacation.

I went home sick. L didn't show up for work at all this morning. So much for "today's a new day."

I Went Through Hell

Yesterday was the worst day EVER.

I now know how this whole townhouse thing will fall apart, and it'll be all L's fault. He'll get fired for too many unexplained absences. He can charm his way out of a lot of trouble, but not indefinitely. He's already on thin ice at work, so one or two more days like yesterday, and I'll be carrying the whole rent by myself.

When am I going to figure out I need to move back east?


But today's a whole new day.

June is Busting Out All Over

And the girls who were contrary
Way back in February
Aren't quite so contrary anymore!

June is busting out all over!
~Carousel

Carousel is a strange musical involving a defense of spousal and child abuse. On the whole, I didn't like it. But I do like the "June Is Busting Out All Over" song. And there's a character who shares my name.

Tonight was Zoobulation, so I ended up working until 830 tonight. It wasn't too bad. For dinner I had 10 lollipops (little, organic ones) and a diet pepsi.

I think history is repeating itself. January's history, to be exact, but it's repeating in a bizzarro way. I'm not sure of all the details yet. I'm just going to let it unfold. Drama-wise, this is one of the most ridiculous jobs I've ever had.

There's a black tie zoo shindig going on two weeks from today! I'm so excited. I'm going to it, not working it. I already know what I'm going to wear. Because how many chances do you get to look pretty when you deal with animal poop all day? Especially in the very same venue where the animal poop resides! Plus there will be free food and drinks!!

Big things ahead!

Shocking!

So it turns out that over my weekend a five-year-old kid ran through the 10,000 volt hotwire surrounding the giraffe and eland (large hoofstock) enclosure at the zoo and provoked the animals. They charged at him! It could've ended very badly, but our heroic curator jumped through the 10,000 volts and rescued him! 10,000 volts! It's enough to knock you backwards on your butt if you just brush it. It'll kill you if you hold on to it.

Crazy!

Today was boring by comparison, but it was a good day. I bought lollipops and guacamole after work, so I'm pretty happy.

I Lived Alone So I Took Him Home

He doesn't love me but/he keeps me company
Everything's alright

Oh Kimya, we are so on the same wavelength these days!

Today L and I went to the lake. It was fun. Then we decided to move in together.


Ha! I'm kidding.


We decided to be roommates BEFORE we went to the lake! So we got this great townhouse on the other side of town, closer to the zoo, less rent, more square footage, next door to our other zoo friend...the list of benefits goes on and on!

We're going to have a pitbull and three cats. Actually, I'm kind of alternating between shock, panic, and happiness with this decision. I think it'll work out, but a lot can happen between now and June 21st. And a lot can happen after that too.

We have basically nothing in common other than we both like animals enough to work at a zoo. Seriously: that's about it. It's amazing we dated as long as we did, really. I think this'll be a challenging roommate situation! I'll keep you posted. The lake was really fun.

My Rollercoaster's Got the Biggest Ups and Downs

I might be moving into a townhouse for a lot less rent than I'm currently paying for my little apartment!!! I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope it happens!

Tonight is our last volleyball game. Sad. But soon it'll be too hot to move let alone prance around in athletic skorts and poneytails with your coworkers and bosses.

I love:
-->Sheets and pillowcases just out of the dryer
-->When kittens run
-->Natural highs from exercise endorphins
-->Kimya Dawson songs (but we already covered that)
-->Morning Glories when the vines climb all over stuff and the flowers are blue and purple
-->Lotion with glittery stuff in it
-->Swimming outside
-->Volleyball with my boss' boss
-->My new shorts
-->Being the center of attention at work

Time to change into skorts!

What Did We Learn Today?

Today we learned that nocturnal South American porcupines do not like going outside at 6 in the morning. Or ever.

Today we learned that you can start rumors by answering questions. Or by not answering questions. Or by answering "that's kind of personal" to questions. It doesn't matter!

Today we learned we really, really need to drink enough water during the day or we will get killer headaches.

Today we learned that there is an emotion without a name that can only be described as "I vaguely feel like I am about to make a huge, irreversible mistake, but I will have to learn the hard way."

Today we learned we can use shampoo as body wash if we really need to wait until Payday Friday to go shopping.

Today we learned the grilled cheese sandwiches at the Safari Cafe is inferior to those of Friendly's, but will do in a pinch.

Today we learned we are good zookeepers! We saved a duck's life! (<-- highlight of the day so far!)


Think about what we'll learn tomorrow!

Remember That I Love You

I love Kimya Dawson! She has at least two songs that reference Scrabble. Awesome.


Listen to "Loose Lips." Call me up before you're dead/we can make some plans instead

Now it's time for work. It's my Friday! What will this day be like? You never can tell when you get up in the morning. That's what I love about this place and this job and these people.

My war paint is Sharpie Ink.

Dear Diary,
Today I was pompous, and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.


Ok, not really.



Welcome back, blog! It's been awhile. So much has happened! But let's ignore it all and focus on today.



I think today was "If you married your cousin you are entitled to free zoo tickets" day at the zoo. I swear I have never seen such a collection of...(what's the PC term? Aw screw it, you all know what I mean by the incest reference)...individuals in my life, and remember: I lived in Kentucky.

Example: A woman picks up her barefoot 5-year old son as they enter the rainforest and says, "I'm gonna carry you through here. It looks DIRTY." Because the rest of the ZOO, where animals CRAP ALL DAY and people WALK THROUGH IT, is spotlessly clean. When I asked "Excuse me, does he have shoes?" she gave me a very rude and belligerent "NO!" So sorry for challenging your parenting style. It's a public place, you cretin! It's not the beach or the pool, the only two public places it is socially acceptable to be barefoot, and it's filthy!

Today I stole L's radio for a joke. He left it sitting on a bench, so I swiped it and ran gleefully toward the rainforest. Ten minutes later, a panicked L calls over what turned out to be his boss' radio asking if he could call my cell. I said no, I left it at home. Then I skipped joyfully back to maintenance, and smugly asked if he was missing something. He told me he got into trouble for losing his radio.

Awww crap.

This boy does NOT need any more trouble at work.

Consumed by guilt, I hastily hand over the radio, apologize, and dart into the office to explain to the maintenance boss what happened. Unfortunately, it's the BIG boss today. The one who is wiry and ferrety and disapproving of all things hijinky. I explain, he says "I see. Well we all must have fun at work," in a totally expressionless deadpan, and I beat it out of there. Usually, I can do no wrong with most of the maintenance guys...with the youngest of them, it seems I can do nothing right.

Tomorrow I resolve to be nice to people. ALL people. Even members of the public. Because I caught myself rolling my eyes at the zoo-going masses a couple of times today, and I wear a nametag, so I can't do that too much.

I have had two memos (or "Toolbox Safety" communiques, as they're now called: basically little notes at our bi-weekly meetings that are supposed to be reminders for everyone, but are only issued after someone has done something wrong) directed at me so far in my short career at this zoo. Both were about wardrobe, specifically acceptable shorts length (no less than 7'' from the inseam) and appropriate socks (must blend, must not stand out). Apparently I'm aiming for several more "This means YOU" memos, including "Respecting our coworkers," "The customer is always right," and "Radios are not toys." If I sexually harass someone and use bad language in the break room, I can collect the whole set!


I was such a model employee before I came here! What happened?

What did we learn today? I'm, of course, embarrassed and guilt-stricken about the whole L's Radio episode, but mostly I'm worried about this not-so-subconscious desire to hurt L. Whenever we pal around, I always end up hitting him (playfully!), or kicking him (flirtatiously!), or almost getting him written up (in the spirit of good-natured ribbing!) but in the end, it's all violence, right? And that's never good.

Tomorrow I'll be nice to people. ALL people. Maybe one in particular.

What I Did On My Random February Vacation

I spent my Random February Vacation at my dad's house in Kansas. Here is what I did.

• I accidentally taught my youngest sister to say the phrase "thoughtless bastard." She says it in a very cute, Cindy Brady-style accent: "Foughtwess bastawd!"
• I ate far, far too much junk food. Luckily there isn't a chocolate-based holiday on the horizon or anything.
• I went shopping and bought girl things like nail polish, hairbands, and two actual DRESSES! They're both far too formal for any occasion I can see myself attending anytime soon, which means I'll probably wind up wearing them to the next non-work-related event I attend regardless of appropriateness. Those guys who spray disinfectant in the shoes in the bowling alley will be soooo impressed!
• I wrote part of my novel! Yes, it still lives! This is the accomplishment of which I am most proud.
• I saw actual, falling snow! TWICE! I was the only one excited about this. I took pictures.
• I neglected lots of obligations I have back in Fresno, including but not limited to paying my rent. As a result, I may be evicted when I get back! Excitement!
• I got a haircut I actually like!
• I went to Pop 'n' Play and trampled copious toddlers.
• I "pwayed fawm" a lot and gave lots of plastic animals baths.
• I pissed off lots of people with my pathetic pining for Leigh.
• I stuck my foot on a rat skull and nest of rat turds that was lodged in my stepmom's ski boot for some reason.
• I had a photo shoot with most of my siblings. It was hilarious! Like trying to wrangle a pack of eels.
• I went to Kansas' only indoor waterpark! It was not the greatest waterpark ever, but on the other hand it WAS because waterpark in February? You just can't beat that!
• I lost a superbowl bet and had to wash one of my dad's cars.
• I won a game of Scrabble against my sister and dad. This was my second proudest accomplishment of the trip.

So all in all, an eventful vacation! Now to go back to Fresno for approximately a week of work, then take off four days to go skiing with Rachel and Dianne! Not working is the BEST!